Under the Surface with Jillian Fleck
Tomorrow night (May 23) at Shelf Life Books, Jillian Fleck will celebrate the publication of their latest graphic novel, Cheryl, at a double launch with Shea Proulx (Just Happy to See You). We’re very excited!
Now, at this point in our Under the Surface posts, we usually casually work in part of the back cover copy. But in this case, Jillian themself wrote some pretty spectacular copy that we’re just going to drop in here and allow to stand on its own. Behold:
“A story about a newly realized lesbian woman, hellbent on reaching spiritual enlightenment. Even if it kills her.
Cheryl just came out and she’s been doing just fine, thanks for asking!!!! She just broke up with her dog, quit gluten, cut contact with her father, and is just really trying to focus on getting enough water daily! It’s all going great!! Except it isn’t and everything is terrible, because no matter what Cheryl does she really can’t shake that there’s something wrong deep down in the core of her being. What would really fix things would be to address her lingering internalized homophobia and childhood trauma. Or reach total spiritual enlightenment, reaching total enlightenment sounds easier, let’s go with that one.
As Cheryl falls further down the New Age wellness industrial complex however, the world turns out to be a lot weirder and sicker than she could have ever imagined. Now Cheryl is forced to confront that not only is it not all about her, but that she might have some part to play in making it better.”
From the (self-proclaimed) cackling gremlin that created Lake Jehovah, Cheryl is a vision board of a coming-out gone sideways.
Find out more in this Q&A with Jillian Fleck.
5 QUESTIONS WITH JILLIAN FLECK
1. The book takes a crack at the New Age wellness industrial complex. Can you tell us what that means to you?
That’s a super nebulous question, because it touches on everything from spirituality to hand soap. If I had to boil it down I would describe it as the rejection of the self in favour of an imagined, idealized self that can be achieved through a kind of morally aligned consumption. That sounds a bit academic, what I mean is that if you make these correct movements, breathe in this manner, eat and drink this particular food, and think in this certain way, then you too can become a good enough person to stop self-sabotaging your own happiness and actually achieve your dreams. I was staring at a goat yoga book thinking “that’s literally the stupidest thing I have ever seen in my life,” yet longing to know the secret to inner peace those goats must possess, when I started feeling angry about the entire wellness industry thing. By the time I reached that breaking point, I was a fucking mess, card-carrying member of a violent gang of Napoleon Hill fanatics, biohacking my morning coffee, holding space for three different emotionally deranged narcissists, pestering angels regarding my rent, reducing my unproductive sleep hours, and utilizing mindfulness to increase my art-making productivity. Looking back it was utter insanity, it sounds more like I was addicted to meth than just trying to find a way to be a full-time artist. What actually brought me down was finding a new day job and like, going to therapy.
2. Cheryl deals with a lot of internalized homophobia and the book is a journey towards coming out and accepting her queerness. Would that be an accurate assessment?
I think things are a bit more complex than that, but for the sake of selling lots and lots of comics, yes absolutely. Cheryl is 100% positive queer representation in which our heroine leans in and girl-bosses her way to self-love. Like Love Simon, but for aging queer millennials who never got a chance to date in high school or college or their twenties. No, I think Cheryl represents coming to a moment of acceptance, and the recognition that that acceptance is temporary. That’s kind of the stickler with trauma, you don’t just heal, you come around and around and around again to the same old problems and you don’t fix it, you just get better at patching up the holes and resetting your course. What passes for healing in the same kind of practice that passes for talent, it’s all just repetition and time. When I get to spend time with queer teens at workshops or other arts events, I get a little jealous. They’re just out like it’s nothing, that’s nuts to me. I had to write the entirety of Lake Jehovah before I figured out I’m pan and trans, and the entire time I was freaking out about getting the labels right and saying the right thing. I guess I’m really much more interested in the messiness of it all. I’m interested in when coming out to your folks goes sideways or the space when one is never really “queer” enough. I’m interested in indefinite conclusions where things aren’t wrapped up tidy, because in truth I don’t know what that’s like. I hope that other people experience it, but I certainly don’t.
3. You are based in Calgary. What is the comics community like there? What about the queer community?
I like Calgary but I complain about it constantly, I’ve basically lived here my entire life though so I think I have the right. I don’t really leave my house other than for work or provisions. I can feel pretty isolated, but I’m not sure if that’s a universal experience or me being a grimy little hermit man. I hear there’s a queer nightclub in town, but I’d never go. I don’t really know if there’s a place where queer people congregate in Calgary. The comics community is really cozy, there’s an organization called Panel One that brings together independent creators for events that’s really cool. Since the pandemic there have been a lot more zine fairs and art markets that have made connecting with artists easier. The biggest thing that I know of that brought together the comics community was Renegade Arts Entertainment’s anthology Alberta Comics: Home which came out in 2022. I mostly hang out with Ryan Danny Owen and a few other queer creators and artists.
4. Are there any specific influences for Your first book Lake Jehovah is a wild trip, with talking animals and cross-species sex. Cheryl has some colour pages which delve into a more fantastical world with talking animals, though tame in comparison. What are the influences for these strange storylines? Do you read these types of books?
Hey now! There’s a bunch of cross-species sex in Cheryl too! Golly, now that you mention it I guess that is a recurring theme. I made a zine back in the day called Cool Apple about anthropomorphic fruits fucking letters of the alphabet. Recently a coworker at my straight job discovered this and was shocked, it was very much a “Who ARE you??” moment. I don’t know where it comes from exactly, I am a child of the internet and cross-species sex is like, pretty fucking tame compared to shit that’s already out there. I think interspecies sex is probably a way for me to describe the way in which I do not understand regular human-to-human sex, or the social interactions and cues that lead up to it at least. The desire is there, but the script isn’t. So cross-species sex makes as much sense as regular bonking, and at least with cross-species sex one can disperse with the pleasantries and assumption that partners are understandable to one another. Plus, I dunno, if you had the chance to fuck an alien, wouldn’t you? Do I read these types of books? I can think of a few. The Bridegroom Was a Dog by Yoko Tawada comes to mind. Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend by Alan Cumyn is another. Alissa Nutting wrote a short story about fucking animate lawn ornaments if I recall. Gaylord Phoenix by Edie Fake is of course the gold standard for amazing weird sex in my mind, and basically the entire reason I get out of bed in the morning. Megg and Mogg in Simon Hanselman’s comics are awful and great too. This is all without getting into actual erotica.
5. How many glasses of water do you drink a day? Need to stay hydrated!
Did my doctor pay you to ask me that? I hate drinking water so much. If I didn’t have to I wouldn’t. For a while when I was working on Cheryl I was averaging about a litre of coffee a day, which looking back was the best I’ve ever felt except for the heart palpitations and insomnia.
Ready to Dive In? Order Cheryl Today!